November　２００８

←BACK　■　NEXT→
School Journal
25 November, 2008

Kats/ Rock Uterus

The Second Year / Kats


I gave my final performance and that concluded my study here for this year.


When I stepped in the school this year, I knew exactly what I needed to do – to sway the subtlest way possible. It was strange how immediately and clearly this idea came to my mind. And that was all I did for the last three months.


After going back to the US from Subbody School last year, I had to literally change my life around. The experiences I had here transformed my perspectives in life so much that I couldn’t conduct my life the same way. During the nine month in the US, I performed constantly. I decided to pursue shiatsu in order to continue to resonate with people while earning some income. This also gave me time to practice every morning. I gave my first Subbody Butoh workshop in the US and met many people who were interested in this method. However, it was difficult to keep up with the intensity of the study while dealing with the daily life in the US. I was so glad to be back here.


Last year my main goal was to learn to go into the subbody mode through various conditioning and to explore various subbodies. This year I was seeking the path to go deeper into the darkness of body through swaying the most subtle way possible. Sometimes this meant that I had to separate myself from the class and be alone. In a way I didn’t even care if I created anything this year. All I wanted to do was to explore this subtle and dark part of my body and experience everything without any intension.


Creating a solo piece required a conscious will and focus, but all the information I needed was stored in my subbody. So, my final performance piece came together rather quickly. Everything I experienced and discovered this past year was in the piece. I felt that my subbodies have grown so much since last year. I enjoy this feeling of constant transformation. Maybe that is why I haven’t hit a major “edge.” I believe that a person hit an “edge” when what he experience is in a direct conflict with his “notion” of himself or “I”-ness. If one can suspend this “notion,” the person is free to transform into anything. That is what subbody means to me.


I am intending to come back next year and I am looking forward to it. Every year there are progresses. Every year there are new transformations. I am ready to shed this skin to find what inside that layer.

A necessary dance for living

Kats danced at the Himalayan valley as the first performer of ten days subbody cobody
theater 2008.
He found a special place where a cliff sliding every year by big monsoon water.
There are some huge rock which fallen down and became a small mountain.
He paint the mountain by red color, and there are a cave between rocks.
This is the constellation which his subbody found this year.
He started from the cave as the male subbody.
He appeared as his own proto creature with collapsed crawl.
Kats's weakened body technique has deepened conparing with last year.
It's so subtle physical and mental technique, for my eyes the difference is so big, but for others they may not notice the difference.

This year, Kats has created new women's body. It is swaying between lovely and "Numeri". "Numeri" is special Japanese term which means the creature's peculiar taste like as slime.
He swayed between an adolescent girl and "woman with Numeri".

Why does he need to transform another gender, maybe he himself doesn't know, but his life need it.
There is a life which he has to live.
There is a secret which he has to solve by himself.
There is a dance which he has to dance.
Kats has met the very necessary dance, and danced it.

Only like that dance is worth to dance.
23 November, 2008

Explosion of creativity

The explorsion of creativity like as November Himalayan sky

In November, Himalayan sky changes into great dancing space of jet streram.
Students has started the last integration of subbody butoh piece of the year.
They have faced to so many edges in this year, and found many necessary subbody dance.
It is worth to dance only necessary one for life.
The other dances is just for joy.
When we dance from the most subtle shivering of life, every life has to be moved by life resonance.
Our daily bodies forget our life which is shivering with the world.
The shivering is so subtle, then we can catch it only when we stop daily mind.
Subbody butoh dance is to invite people into the subtle realm which life is swaying between life and death.
Students are now on the process of last rehaersal to meet the bottom depth of each one.
Next week, all of them will come out.
It must be like a big explosion of creativity.
It looks like as Himalayan November sky on which jet stream and moon shows unexpected great dance.
22 November, 2008

Kats's last conditioning; How to decay eyes

This school years are going to meet final next week, students will perform each day one by one, and give one's best conditioning.
The last ten days subbody cobody theater are going to begin.
Student who performs in the evening, gives one's best conditioning in the morning.
Student who performs in the afternoon, he/she ask me to give conditioning instead of him/her.

Kats will perform next Monday at the river, he asks me to give conditioning to decay eyes.
He noticed that most of student's eyes are not decayed enough to watch other student's subbody dance.
Also I noticed it, I tryed many times to decay eyes, but it did not work, then I almost gave up it.
Kats said, "Please give conditioning to try to change various kinds of eyes."
"And guide them to transform from extrovert eye channel to introvert eye channel."

"For example,
Slit eyes,
glass ball eyes,
half eyes,
edge eyes,
diagnal eyes,
shaking eyes,
random eyes,
opposite eyes,
moving eyes,
out focus eyes,
dream eyes,
resonance eyes,
and so on."

I felt it was good point of view.

This will guide eyes to transform into following process.

① At first, only the physical body movement is reflected in the eyes,
Then guradually, the extrovert channel of eyes are decayed, and slowly open introvert visual channel.
② Then slowly the invisivle inner constellation of whole self world will be able to feel.
It will become able to see the essence of subbody dance Which edge does subbody meet and how is subbody trying to respond to, and so on.
③ And finally, you can resonate with life what the life is shivering in the subbody dance.

The process of ② ③ is invisible. But when we open the introvert eye channel, it would be able to see.

Extroverted physical eyes should be restricted to the minimum so that what happens on the subbody is focused on.

The last two weeks, how far the students will be able to?
If you got it, it will be a big harvest.
Because this eye is the very necessary for catching the essense of dance, not surfice physical movement.
How to focus on invisible happening, and get the transparent sense, this will be the first step.

Kats suggest me in my vision for the blind spots.
With the long term students, sometimes like this learning from students happens.
This is the pleasure for midwife of subbody.
21 November, 2008

Decayed body




In this month, students started integration of their subbody piece.
They try to find the hidden connection among all subbodies which they have met in these several months.
When we stop strong daily mind and body, we can find subtle resonance among each subbody.
This is the reason why we need to transform weakened body.
This week we found a excelent teacher for it. He is a peice of wood roots of fallen tree, I met him in the mountain near school, he was fallen maybe in the monsoon, and now almost near death condition.
We invite him to the school as a teacher of weakened body.
There are so many things decayed in autumn, we can find various teacher, but this broken root is one of the most eccelent.

He has so rich subtle taste of decay in different dimensions.
When life starts decaying, it appears in various channels.
We started learning each of them slowly.


Decay in the body feeling channel

The physical skin starts transforming, it becomes sick, dry, shrinked, twisted, warped, cracked and so on.
Also hidden skin transforms by fear, weakened, damaged, shrinking, giving up, and so on.
Imagine what did the tree feel at the moment of fallen down, warped, ceacked, and broken.
Share the body feeling in your body.

Decay in the movement channel

When you want to sway, it becomes shakeing.
When you want to wave, it changes to collapse.
When you want to calm down, you receive shock.
All kinds of movement become out of controll.
Follow it, and amplify the decaying of controll.
Become roots's inner qualia when he fell down.

Decay in the visual channel

Your eyes become weaken. Gradually you are going to be blind, and on the contrary, many illusions visit your sight.
You cannnot discriminate which is illusion, which is real sight.
Inventyour own decayed eye, rotten eye, collapsed eye, dead eye.

Decay in the audio channel

You want to say something, but you have lost voice.
On the contrary, you hear that some one wisper you.
Against your will, suddenly you start growling as unknown
strange animal. your audio channels are possessed and out of controll.

Decay in the emotion channel

Someone steal your heart, you cannot feel human feeling and emotion.
You transform the humanoid.
And system errors happen, strange emotion raise up from body.
You cannot stop it.

Deacy in the relationship channel

You feel the most important thing in your life.
You entr into strange dimension, and all kind of relationship changes into diferent qualia.
All relationships warp into different dimension.

Decay in world and self channel

When you notice, the world have transformed into nknown unconfortable world.
There are no space to be for you anymore.
You have to reborn in another world.

Decay in thinking channel

Another person's thought has possessed your mind before you become aware of it.
Different thinking move your mind and body.

Finally, all channels have decayed.
Find the timing when the decay starts in each channel, in different way of rhizoming,, scale, tempo.
In each moment of different decay, you can open different dimension.
16 November,2008

Listen to the ripples of qualia ocean

Qualia are resonating in the glia-neuron network in our brain,
it is infinite diversitive like the ripples in the huge ocean.

Calm down daily body and mind.
Stand quietly with becoming an ash body which the physical body has burn out, just follow the subtle sway among the particles of ash.
Stop language brain as quiet as possible.
The electlic sparks between neurons become quiet, then you can listen to the subtle resonance among qualia which are reserved in the glia cells of brain.
Qualia are wispering together like the numberless ripples in the ocean.
Listen in the ripples.
This world is timeless.
The resonance of qualia are beyond time dimension.
All kind of qualia which life has experienced during four billions years history, start resonance.
When a subtle tendency happens through the resonance, immediately follow it.
The sub-signal is million times sutler than language thought, but when you die down language thinking, you can catch it.
In the subtle sways, so different qualia are resonating beyond infinite dimensions, and increadible novel creations occur so often.
When we follow them, extreme diversitive creations come out.
It takes time to catch this increadible subtleness, more than half year.
The biggest obstacle is the langage thinking which arises unconsciusly.
When langage brain speaks loudly, we cannot catch the sub-signals.

In this month, students are trying the final creation which is integrated whole subbodies.
Neither ego, nor self create it, but life will do it.
How much deeply can they stop thinking by using various conditioning methods which they learned in thise months,
everthing is depending on it.
Subbody butoh is just a reflection of qualia resonance which is happening in our darkness of body.
9 November, 2008

Expansion of diversity

At the last subbody cobody theater in October course, students found their own place near the school.
You can see the extreme expansion of deversity among students in these months.
Most of students found their own constellation at the Himalayan valley.
We entered the valley with calming down as quiet as stone,
so that it is able to listen in the most subtle resonance with the nature, gravity, sun shine, water stream, river sounds, insects, birds, memories, dreams and so on.
Some of them entered the cold stream, some of them crawl on the rock.
Through various resonance, so many unknown hidden subbodies were coming out.

Next stage is the integration of all subbodies which students have met during these several months self reseach.
We need arround twenty subbodies to travel whole self in one hour solo.
Some students have met already almost of them, some one is not yet.
Don't worry about the timing, there are each own time to meet subbodies.
To listen in your original time is the most important.
When the time will come, subbodies must come out spontaneously.




Subbody Butoh School Himalaya