| Mille Plateaux 111 Syv |
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| -a.x.Y.z.-- A 4 billion-year old Being / Here = There = Animula Vagula Blandula or a Little Wandering Soul / Storms and Peacocks / the Luxury of being dead / Love affairs / the Gift ? a.x.Y.z.?the beginning and the end of an alphabet. Death. Birth. Life. Death. Life. gIt is your endh says Hijikata. Where does life begin and end, where does death end or begin? What is the borderline between the two? Doesn't a birth need a death to start, doesn't life need death to transform, or just to be? We need to die a little, or a lot, to give birth to a different path, a different necessity, a new whereabout. Lifefs most awesome event is death, and how little prepared we are to face it. Although to be honest, being dead sounds pretty good and like a relief to me. It is the process of dying which is painful, long, hard. How little prepared we are to face it too. It is quite ironic to think that in most modern cultures, we spend so much time and energy training, improving our wealth, social status, comfort, knowledge. Yet we do so little about this universal stage: dying. Dying (just like happiness) is a skill that should be learned. I think so anyway. We should learn to recognize fear and pain and loneliness and unknown territory, and accept it all. To accept not being in charge anymore, not being able to control anymore. The process of dying is a curious transformation, a blurry level between time and no-time, between some thing and no thing to some thing else. It is a strange creation. It can be an amazing creative process as well if we learn how to do it. No? So of course, it is not the easiest subject to study! It takes energy and courage and strength and madness to go through this dying-creative process. To be transformed again and again into another self, or to stripe down from your self and enter a new world. Just like any creative act maybe? Lee, I realized I was lucky. I am lucky to be given the time to rehearse. Rehearse dying.?Instead of crushing straight to death and not being aware. I often think it will be so good to be dead, but I can taste the luxury of many gdyingh before the final one! Find many abysses on the way, get familiar with shisha, behind world, darkness, and life. Tonight I danced dying, death, birth, living, exploring, and sometimes just breathing. I had thousands of gbugsh inside my body, eating my cells and my bones. I hate those bugs sometimes! Dancing pain is not my necessity (it's just an old and uninvited guest I must deal with, ah ah! You know, the kind that makes himself at ease in your own home, that you cannot get rid of so you just have to put up with his bad behavior). but how to dance with or around or through it? I carry my strange bugs along. It is all a learning process. One day at a time. One breath at a time. How precious breath is when it doesn't come easily anymore. Let's rehearse dying. let's everything be ecstasy. Before the luxury of being finally dead come the living and dying and the many beautiful flowers I can feel, taste and make blossom. Good night, Lee. Thank you. Syv |