| Mille Plateaux 81 Asuka 2 |
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| Silent noise / Asuka |
Silent noise / Asuka Asuka from Switzerland/Japan who is the second time to join the school invented a unique way of choreography. She made handmade costum by metal and various material which she collected from town for each students. It is like a music instruments on the body, but she gave a strict rule which we move without making any noise. She gave each person a role which initiates the group at specific weakened movement at specific timing, and everybody follows the others eccept of one's turn. This was her experiment for resonance. Then walking of them became a kind of weakened body walk naturally. The group movement became a swarm of weakened body automatically. She seemes to strrugle to create integrated subbody peice after completing the cobody part. She had to face again many edges which she met in four months. In the middle of course she has met big edge, she could not move, and she was absent for a week. The day she came back school we tried an edge work. It was hard for haer, and for me. Also I met an edge against the edge work. Because I didn't want to students to face the edge too much. But when I read her text, I found she got a valuable awareness. I relieved. Everyone who was once aware of the importance of facing edge, one must never forget it. Because it is the real infinite fountain of creativity. Asuka, continue your endless journy, and surely please come back Himalaya for deeper training. Let's listen to the subtle resonace of life together. About edge work, please read her text as the following, and about this experiment, read "Afterthought" . Asuka, you cultiveted your darkness of body a lot in this term. You must explore the darkness of body until everything becomes transparency. |
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When I faced my unknown edge, I faced a
deep pressure feeling in my chest: pain, cannot breathe, cannot speak, need
to cry. It was going on for more than a week already.  (edge1 picture)I definitely didn't wan't to deal with
it.. I felt so annoyed when you proposed edge work exercises. It was so bad, I couldn't figure out what
it was or why is this was happening to me. I thought, if it's just anguish, it will
pass, then it's no use to do anything about it, otherwise I'll just feed it... and I don't want to make things worse.. However, with all the aversion I had, I
slowly followed your propositions.. Suddently, I realised it was me pressing
me : My self was struggling and oppressing me. I watched and asked silently: ¨ Why are
you doing this to me? Why do you want to kill me ? ¨ It answered that we were having a war,
and I was divided because of paradoxe. I wanted one thing and its opposite, to
be one thing and the opposite, so the other me was embodying my
opposite. Because I had been suppressing it, also
it was suppressing me. But I realised.. we cannot live without each other.
Whatever happens, we must continue to live together Me and my opposite, We converse.. We must take care of each other,
otherwise no one can live, it is a matter of surviving. Together, reunited, we can be All. Everything that seems outside, isn't
separate. We are One. Everytime I deny something, hate, or
suppress something, I am denying a part of the whole. Each time I forgive and reconcile myself
with something that seems outside of me, I forgive and reconcile myself with a
part of me.. and now, this is my work.. In order to survive.. To recognise everything as oneness.. Not to dissociate myself with what is
around.. this is also how I am erased.. There is no such thing as individuation. Most of all, to find Balance, because
Balance is a universal law.. And to be able to see with the eyes of
the opposite is the key to finding Balance.
This drawing emerged then. The white human as myself as I
consciously know myself, all that seems stable,material, that I
perceive as reality, all that I accept as a world, self image, identity.. The dark human as my unconscious side, all that is unstable, immaterial, unknown
world, all unaccepted aspects or repressed self, shadow.. Inspired by the ying and yang symbol of
balance, I found out a way to move beyond the edge
of the moment, I traded eyes with my opposite, saw myself, erased my mind, understood, and let go.. This was perhaps the biggest freeing
feeling of my life... I wish to apply it all along. Thank you Lee, for pushing us to face our
edge. |
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A part of my afterthought is a secret
now, that I cannot share. Another is a quite important realisation,
that I missed the point of the experiment; because I failed, in a way, to dance
my deepest teaching of this semester. My mind wanted to go way too crazy for me the
past weeks, restless nights of dreaming I was running about, through amazing
adventures, trying to escape strange worlds with a group of people. Out
of school, I escaped my mind by working with my hands, spending a lot of
time making things, costumes, props, etc.. I wasn't ready, couldn't figure out what I was
going to dance, feeling I had nothing. I wanted to dance the constellation
of the moment, just simply dance anything.. but at the same time, I was
trying so hard to make some integrating solo of all the subbodies I encountered,
cutting and pasting, to create some kind of virtual constellation.. Until the last minute, pulled between
this and that, I eventually got extenuated. Now I know I wasted too much energy, I was very tense.
I should have meditated, conditionned and calmed down more, more.
The fact is that constellations might continuously change, at this stage
of my life... and in the end, don't we always end up dancing the true moment
anyways ? Somehow, this time, I couldn't sink as deep as possible throughout
the whole experiment. I am happy about the cobody experience, even though
it didn't totally work at all. ... It is quite funny, looking back, but on many occasions,
I had to face inner rising frustration or find a new way out. It seemed to reflect my whole life story.. projecting
visions of what I expect to happen and then it happens, or not at all,
and that's when life needs to create a new way, another way out. Anyways, the journey continues, the hardest is still
to apply what I learnt, to break my bad habits. I will continue as my life
decides.... thank you
Lee |
